WHAT IS YUMESHIPPING?
"Self-shipping or selfshipping is to ship oneself with a canon character. Self-shippers do not all identify as fictoromantic or fictosexual, but many do...
In Japanese fandom, the term "夢女子" (yumejoshi, "dreaming girl") is used by female self-shippers. Some selfshippers call themselves yumeshippers as a reference to the Japanese term."
— fanlore wiki
WHY DO I YUMESHIP?
nonsensical ranting incoming! will be constantly edited for clarity etc
i've always been a person with a relatively rich imagination- which is interesting, considering i have partial aphantasia and cannot visualize fluid motion or rotate images in my brain. ever since i was very little, i would insert myself into the worlds of the medias i enjoyed to escape real life. this became a coping mechanism throughout my tween/teen years, where i would sit in my own head and imagine a "better reality" with characters i loved. i'd do this when the "real world" felt like it was rejecting me.
i was once a shy kid who couldn't properly socialize with other people (GO AUDHD RAHHH), and i often felt disconnected from those around me. even though things have changed and i've become weirdly gregarious and/or sociable as an adult, i do still feel like there is this "disconnect" between me and other people... me and the "real world". to some extent, i still feel like i don't belong here and cannot connect with other people, despite my strong wish to have meaningful and long-lasting partnerships (platonic and otherwise) with those around me.
yumeshipping, i guess, fills that void. i have been in relationships with real people- some horrible, some wonderful- but more often than not, relationships with (most) real people have ended poorly for me. i'm disabled and have various mental illnesses, and grew up in an environment where healthy relationships were not modelled. i'm still learning how to be a person, and found that most people cannot really... accomodate that? if that makes sense. i also wish to move slowly and dislike being treated as an "option", which has caused division between me and various former partners.
selfship/yumeship has provided me with a helpful and significantly more healthy outlet for my Huge Feelings, since i'm very much a lovesick romantic and a sap. having this outlet has helped me navigate my irl relationships better, and has helped me "keep my head clear" when it comes to real-world romance. rather than clinging onto a person who is harmful or toxic because i'm lonely, i now am better able to step back and ask myself: "Would Grunkle Stan Do Me Like This?"
this may be silly or immature to some, but i've found it to be incredibly satisfying and helpful in my personal growth. also, why can't you love or admire 2D characters? life's short. Kiss that dating sim person. Sexualize that old man. Etcetera.